… has to suck. Get it? Suck? Yeah yeah, its Friday and my brain is already in Saturday mode. Anyway, read about it here (its SFW).
Best quote in the article:
“I want her to be happy. And it’s a turn-on, in a way. On the downside, though, there are guys having sex with your wife.”
Charmane Star with husband, next to a grill. Weird. Only because they're not naked.
I just skimmed this post and immediately felt like I had to punch some females. Yes, the media portrays Asian males as if they were Hiro from Heroes (terrible accent, glasses, asexual), but this is also the same media that defines beauty as a busty blond weighing 100 lbs. So what now? I hope you’re not on Facebook, Ashely Song Kim, because you’re in some e-trouble.
By Ashley Kim Song
As an Asian girl growing up in the United States, I believe I was taught by the society to be attracted to just about everyone besides other Asian men. This marginalization of Asian men has occurred, in my view, for several reasons.
First, the media never portrays Asian men in a dominant role. They are always portrayed as nerdy, geeky, brainiacs, with no sense of themselves and no ability to attract women. In other words, the media portrays Asian men as incapable and undesirable.
Second, American society has many negative stereotypes towards Asian men. It has become a complete joke to think that an Asian man could ever “satisfy” a woman. Their “manlihood” is the constant subject of jokes and insults. For this reason, most women view Asian men as asexual and feminine.
For these reasons, Asian women, and women in general in American society are taught to view Asian men as undesirable and feeble. As you will see, this is the reason why Asian women are now up for grabs…
Asian women in our society, because of their conditioning, on the whole do not prefer to date Asian men. In one of the discussion classes I taught last year at Berkeley, half of the Asian girls in the room, stated that they do not prefer to date Asian men. Also, roughly every other girl in the class also agreed that they prefer not to date Asian men. So, if Asian women are on a trend of not dating Asian men, who are they dating?
Girls the class I taught generally gave me two answers to this question. The most obvious one being White men, as people around Berkeley and other cultural areas can most recognizably notice. The second most common answer from the girls was Indian men (South Asians). When I asked the girls why the preferred these two ethnic groups of men, their responses centered around two areas: economic status and physical attractiveness.
In terms of economic status, the Asian girls said that both white men and Indian men in our society (especially here at Berkeley), were viewed as successfull, intelligent, and confident. These are all qualities that the Asian community values.
Next, the girls said that they found these two groups of men to physically attractive. When I asked why, the responses I recieved were varied. My conjecture in this case would be that both groups tend to share the same sharp features (Greco-Roman noses/eyes) that the media tends to value.
So what is the end result of all this? Asian women are “up for grabs” and this has essentially devasted Asian men. Asian men are getting the axe on two levels here. First, they are only seen as being able to date their own kind (other Asian girls). At the same time, their own kind, at an increasing rate, tends not to prefer them sexually.
In conclusion, I have come to no conclusion. This is merely an observation of mine as a student and teacher here at Berkeley. However, I personally view this information as interesting and helpful. And, I, as an Asian-American woman, bring it in to my consideration when viewing Asian men.
Ashley Kim Song is fourth-year Political Science major at UC Berkeley.
There she is. The girl of your dreams. She’s standing in line at Starbucks pondering over whether to get the caramel macchiato or the triple-shot expresso. Fortunately, you’re rocking the new khaki blazer from Banana Republic and quickly pop a Listerine wafer into your mouth. “The pastries look especially hot today” you remark. She turns around, blinks twice, and answers “why, yes they are. Really hot.” She smiles and flips her hair over her ear. You make a quick joke and she laughs. Not a regular laugh, but the I-want-you-to-ask-me-out laugh and you oblige.
Your last relationship turned ugly when your ex left you when she could no longer hold back her feelings of inadequacy when gazing upon your chiseled body. You know its time for new beginnings. It’s been a while since you’ve been on your first date, so you need a refresher course. No worries, because you read this
Wedding season is in full swing, so angry ninja has these killer shirts to tell your buddy exactly how you feel about the whole deal:
Oh, and congrats to M&M for getting hitched at the end of the month. We’re really excited about the open bar.
Bad on so many levels.
image source: www.xkcd.com
My favorite: Commitment = Empty Love
After over two decades of extensive research and interviews with men and women worldwide, here are the top five myths men believe about women.
1) Women are primarily looking for a man with great physical features.
Actually, this myth should have been title “Women are primarily looking for a man with [fill in the blank].” Most males assume that women seek to isolate one particular characteristic about their ideal man because that’s exactly how men view their ideal mate: ideal in a single category while ignoring the rest (translation: men are looking for women with a pretty face/big breasts/long legs). Females, however, think with the big picture in mind. In a perfect world, females desire a man with an athletic body, charming personality, and are great with children (regardless of her desire to conceive). Is there any question why there are more single 30+ females than males? It is because they are still waiting for the “perfect catch.” Men are much more willing to settle for an individual with the correct reproductive organs.
2) Women are kinder/gentler than men
Though it is true that women do not possess the physical prowess that men are naturally gifted with, it would be a mistake to interpret this lack of physicality as a general meekness in females. Ever notice that females have a laundry list of other females they just cannot get along with? What women lack in muscles they make up for in trash talk. The gossip magazines they read at the supermarket are the written manifestations of their inner animosity towards one another. Why should anyone care about Britney’s multiple social disorders made public through People Magazine? It provides ammunition for the machine gun of smack talk women need to make it through the day. She cries during the same scene of The Notebook and will not hesitate to tell her friends about his man’s erectile dysfunction. They’re cold blooded like that.
3) Women are not as competitive as men
While men are preoccupied with determining which men dominate games of skill and/or intelligence, women are busily fine tuning their strategies of manipulation to win the game of life. It is not a coincidence that women insist on being the victor during arguments with their companion. If she wants to eat at the fancy new Italian restaurant and not at the dive bar showing game five of the big game, it is a safe bet that hot wings will not be on the menu. It should also come as no surprise that she takes 200% longer to get ready to go out than the male equivalent; she’s applying the war paint and wardrobe necessary to defeat the throngs of competitors that threaten to take away her role as starlet. Use this competitive drive as a tool to push her in a particular direction. Understanding her need to respond to challenges can be crucial when it comes time for her to make logical decisions (i.e. take one more shot to prove this guy wrong or go home early for work the next morning?).
4) When it comes to presents, it’s the thought that matters
Are men so diluted into thinking that she will appreciate a collage of pictures taken during special occasions over the tennis bracelet she’s been eyeing at Tiffany’s for the past year? It is an easy mistake to make, but the look on her face when she opens the non-aqua blue box containing a cheap frame from Aaron Brother’s will tell the whole story. What she really means is that the amount of money a man spends on her is directly proportional to the amount of love he has. And he better make sure it is exactly what she wanted. Women love surprises that involve things that they’ve been pining for. They do not, however, love picture frames.
5) Women do not care about the size of the sea, but the motion of the ocean
She wants both. If it was up to her, she’d rather be stuck like a suckling pig than hit with a Oscar Meyer wiener. Better stock up on more Enzyte.
It always begins the same way. He just had to catch the last segment on ESPN’s Behind the Line, and now they’re stuck at Jack in the Box eating the two for $.99 tacos because of a missed reservation at the fancy Mediterranean restaurant. But he casually mentions that the only reason the TV was even on was to kill time while she applied her second layer of foundation to cover up that pesky dry patch underneath her jaw-line. She retorts that the dirty underwear you conveniently left in the bathroom was not going to pick itself up and she’s glaring at him so intently he fears that his face will melt like Coldstone’s on a July sidewalk.
Yeah, we’ve all been there. The facts all lead to the ultimate conclusion that it was actually her fault. The only thing left after this CSI investigation of blame is David Caruso tilting his head and shoving on that pair of mini-mart sunglasses offering a witty one-liner to end the scene. The problem is, that championship feeling one gets after a lopsided victory seems bitter and cold. Why? It’s because the lady is pissed. And we know what that means.
Doghouse.
So let’s back this pain train up for a minute. In reality, anything that’s blamed on her is actually a test. She’s trying to determine the type of man that would call out a compassionate, kind, and generous individual like herself. Boy, did he just fail that one. Many a man has fell flat on his face when the oral exam of blame comes up. All he needed to do was to fess up and let her know that yes, it was indeed his fault for everything. That simple gesture would have saved 3 hours of negotiation and a bouquet of flowers/box of candies/stuffed bear holding a heart with the words “I love you beary much”.
Yes, it is a lose/lose situation trying to argue with her assessment. Females are not accustomed to working in the realm of “logic” and “facts”. This type of reasoning does not hold a candle to her arbitrary judgment system. It is pretty much her way or the highway. So unless one plans on being celibate for the rest of his life, commit this to memory: She’s always right.
Deal with it.
So I met this chick about a few weeks ago through a mutual friend and find that she’s fun to hang out with (judging from the times we’ve hung out [albeit always with other friends around]). But I’m definitely attracted to her and so I have a few questions, the most important being, how do I make my intentions clear enough so that I’m not on the friend ladder?
Another question I have is that I’ve talked to her a few times on AIM…how important of a factor is initiating the IM convo? Better stated, does it really matter who starts off the conversation by going “hey” or something? And along the lines of that, does too much conversation initiation by one person come off as creepy and annoying?
-Maverick88
The best case scenario one can wish for after an initial interaction is one of indifference. Hopefully she has not formulated enough of a frame of reference to determine which ladder you currently reside on. This flux positioning is key as your future encounters will either make or break your chances but at least it has not been determined yet (hopefully).
Even in group situations, there are opportunities to isolate and conquer your target through group manipulation. If she has a penchant for the shooter House of Dead at DnB, an outing “as a group” and the casual suggestion that the two of you engage in the destruction of zombies will suffice. This easily lends itself to more intimate outings involving only the two of you as her comfort level has increased to the point where she can trust that you will not grope her like a creepy uncle.
Finding an excuse to take your target on a social outing does not have to be arduous but it does require some research about her affinities. Food is always popular; however keep it informal or you risk exposing your true intentions prematurely. On the flip-side, a decision to take her to taco Tuesday at Rubios might also be a deal-breaker. Avoiding typical “date” activities like movies, walks on the beach, or meeting the parents should be adhered. Having her meet you at the animal hospital where you volunteer at? Now that’s true gold.
The question posed was how to make sure your true intentions are not mistaken for aims of plutonic friendship. Do not, under any circumstances, verbalize your feelings. Men have become brainwashed by the media to assume females wish to hear the deep thoughts that men store deep in the chasms of their emotional gray matter. In reality, the only leverage men carry is their emotional state and the mystery behind it. Rather, convey yourself through the physical: strong eye-contact, short and infrequent body contact, and a general indifference of the current situation. This, combined with a charming personality and constant laughter, will lend itself to placing you in the correct ladder. Basically show her a good time and without being too forward and you’ll find yourself in her Hello Kitty panties in short fashion.
Instant Messaging is a poor replacement for actual interaction; unless she’s at work and does not have any other means to communicate, I’d use IM as a tool to initiate face-to-face encounters. As to whether or not it’s wise to wait for her to message you first… it depends. A 5:1 ratio (i.e. after the fifth time you’ve started a conversation) you should allow her the opportunity to break the ice. If you’ve held her attention enough, she will have no problem being the first to IM.
Good luck and remember: don’t be the creepy uncle.
If a guy says “we’re moving too fast”, what does he really mean?
-superSFwoman
Over the course of male evolution, there have been two constants that have kept the Earth from spinning perilously into the sun: 1) Men love women of all shapes and sizes 2) we’re not picky. Rarely will a male pass up the opportunity for mating especially if the circumstances are favorable (i.e. all the time) so this questions assumes that there are some colossal roadblocks prohibiting said male from engaging in activities most natural to him. Fret not, however, as there is an explanation for such erratic behavior.
He doesn’t find you very attractive
99 out of 98 males you pose this question to will point out that physical attraction can often outweigh a female’s personality pitfalls (see Vicky Mendoza diagonal for exceptions). The inverse is also true depending on the level of duress the male is encountering when questioned about such. Alas, he does not find your snaggle tooth or gigantic nose attractive and therefore out of contention to be his baby mama.
There’s someone else
If he has any testicular fortitude this would be a non-issue and he would have moved on by now. Unfortunately, you’ve fallen into the dark abyss that has stricken many a hopeful female. He’s stuck pining over love lost and you’re left with the remains of his tattered heart. Do not be surprised if he calls late in the evening sobbing asking for advice about how to win back the “one” who got away.
He wanted to go all the way, but he ran out of rubbers
Unless your first name rhymes with Messica and ends in Falba or Diel, he probably has no plans to germinate your flower pot… on purpose. Consider him a gentleman that he did not suggest to do it in the butt.
There is a slight possibility that he wants to take the relationship slowly to ensure he is emotionally and mentally ready to embark on a lifelong journey with you by his side… but let’s not kid ourselves. He thinks your boobs aren’t big enough.
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