Boba, girls, and third nipples

so I have this pretty stupid rule for myself; whenever someone makes eye contact with me, I maintain it until they either 1) look away or 2) say something.
yesterday, i came out of tapx, and did the eye contact thing with this hot girl. but it lasted FOREVER. she just wouldn't back down. why did she stare so long o.o ? should i have said hi or winked? haha. -tametheflame

I for one find extended eye contact creepy and a sure sign of insanity on both parties. Why didnt you initiate contact with her after the longing gaze was broken? I find that most females stare because she is:

a) interested in your physical features

b) reading something that is past you causing incidental eye contact

c) curious why you have a third nipple on your forehead.

next time you find a female eye f**king you, walk over and invite her to your pants party. I guarantee she will not be staring at you anymore after that.

Addicted to the poon

How do you make yourself stop thinking about a girl?

EDIT: A particular girl. -deadone

If there was kryptonite for the male species, girls would certainly qualify for that distinction. As a whole, they're just dudes with different sexual hardware and logic architecture. So whats the big deal? The problem arises when we interact with females on a one-to-one basis and realize this important fact: they smell really really good. Our olfactory system is inundated with smells not associated with males (fruits and flowers as opposed to beer and steak) and as a result we become so absorbed by their scent we become addicted. You, my friend, are an addict. Withdrawl is what you are experiencing. To answer your question, what is a guy to do now that you're without your supplier of wonderful female smells?
-find another supplier. Does not really help the situation but is a good temporary fix to curb your cravings. Unless she smells like cinnamon buns. Marry at all costs.

-quit cold turkey. Avoid all things that might smell like her and eventually you wont even know why you liked her in the first place.

-surround yourself with people who make you happy. A constant flow of endorphins does wonders when fixated on the fact someone else is enjoying her scent in your absence.

-date her mother. That'll teach her to not f**k with you.

Its a tough road ahead, but time heals all wounds. Not only will you be stronger in the end, you'll also probably fear all future female interaction and live your life alone in your parent's basement. Good luck!

Strap-on specialist

does the person who asks a guy/girl out automatically become the man (or like the dominant person) in the relationship? -Colonel Klink

Call me old fashioned, but a male should be perceptive enough to pick up the IOI's (Indicators of Interest) being sent from the female and act accordingly. However, in the instance when a female recommends an extracurricular outing, dominance is determined based on personality features. I find often find that as a relationship progresses, the male has to bend over backwards to appease the demands of the female, so if that means the female is dominant then such is the case. A healthy relationship is one in which both persons utilize communication in order to come to a compromise in the decision making process.

Ladies, if the guy doesnt seem like he's gettin your hints, go ahead and ask him out. But dont be discouraged if he says no.

Save the drama for your mama

how do u tell a friend of the opposite sex that she's crazy and her guy is wrong for her, and not come off that u want anything in return because u really don't? -sG

good question. It really depends on the nature of the relationship that you have with this individual. Obviously, if you two are really great friends then being upfront about your feelings towards the compatibility of her and her bf can be discussed freely. However, this is probably not the case so here are a few suggestions that I can offer:

a) have one of her girlfriends do it. Being that you're a dude and your intentions could be muddled, having a neutral party aka someone of the same sex can be very effective.

b) bring up the conflicts you are observing and have a friend offer his/her second opinion. Obviously, do NOT have the second opinion on hand right away as it will seem as if the two of you are ganging up the individual. An example would be to mention the issues and have the second opinion call the next day with those same issues (make sure to appear as if the two conversations are independent from one another). This will make it seem as if you aren't the only person who feels that the relationship is headed for the gutter.

c) don't say anything at all, but refuse to hang out when she invites you and her bf to the same event on the premise that "you dont like him very much." She'll inquire about your dislike for him in which you can politely bring up the conflicts that you have. By having her initiate the conversation about him, she is more open to hear why he might not be Mr. Perfect.

d) sometimes you gotta race. Find out all the dirt that you can about him and plan a scenario in which his true nature will be revealed to your lady friend. You run a huge risk of looking like a complete moron, but if she's willing to put up with him and his ridiculousness then maybe she's just as insane as he is.

Remember: you want nothing else but your friend to be happy. If she's happy being with him, then let her do her thing. But if she is being mentally/physically abused, then you should step in and make sure she doesnt suffer another day of it. Good luck!

Computer love

Hello mr. skratchy! your answers are quite amazing i have to say.
hahaha they definitely entertained me for quite a few days. : ) thanks!

anyway! so i thought maybe i can ask you some questions too?
haha here it goes!

how do you know if a guy likes you? i know you are a guy…hahah but are there ways that a girl can attempt to "test" and see if a guy likes her? 'cause i seem to always be confuse on if they are interested romantically or are just quite a friendly person. um : ) yeaaa!

int main
{ if (guy = = like girl)
cout << "huh? /n";
else
cout <<"no idea!?/n";
return 0;
}

oh yesss.. and, are there ways to show interest online? sometimes you met someone and got each other's sn, … however… intensions on aim are just too…. hard to tell/show. any technique? : )

thanks for the attention! : D -AppleDots 

Well, since you're anxiously awaiting this reply in hopes that your online flame will melt upon your entrance onto his buddy list, there are a few ways to make online conversations turn into something more. Textual conversations often times become vague and confusing because tonal patterns other body language indicators (frequently referred to as Indicators of Interest or IOI) are removed. Short of turning every aim discussion into cyber-sex, I would recommend being completely blantant in your interrogation of said mark. For example:

him: hey whats up
you: hopefully you comin over and hitting it.

see how effective that was? His next reply will be either

him: uh, what?
or
him: right now? Your place or mine?

Both of which gives you a very good indicator of whether his feelings towards you are reciprocal. And if he is NOT interested in "hitting it", then you can claim ignorance by giving the "oh, wrong box" excuse. Not only will he be flustered by not being the intended recipient of such an outrageous statement but he will ponder upon who the message was really for.

Now, a more subtle approach is to use your online conversations to lead to an eventual in-person meeting. Just as you wouldn't ever close a deal over the phone, utilize online conversations as a means to gauge his attention level and social activities to set up that perfect get together. I would not recommend using what is said on AIM as an actual IOI unless he says a) I am in love with you or b) I cant live without you

There is security offered in textual conversations and thus, unless blatantly stated, most statements should be taken with a grain of salt. Also, guy's are NOT attracted to c-style algorithms. Nothing is sexier than a girl using java.

Girls love food

Skratch, I have a question and i'm kind of hoping for your assistance. I have a girlfriend and things work out great for the most part. However, every once in a while she gives me this 'attitude' (happens maybe once a month or something). I'll try to quickly describe the symptoms of this puzzling behavior. It's a unique attitude in that, it's not anything extremely out of line. But she just doesn't make sense like yesterday she would say, "i'm hungry" and then i'd say "ok, lets get food" and she'l say "there are no good places open" so i provided that I would cook for her and she said "no." and then she would complain about being hungry again 5 min later and the whole process repeated itself. while this going on before and after, she would have these evasive blank stares to everywhere but at me. She would look around my apt as if she had never been there before. I asked her if she was bored and she casually replied, "yeah", so i said lets go do something and she would shut me down by saying she was tired. Conversations become bland and short because of her simple responses, etc. When i get close to her, after a few min, she would get up or make an excuse to get up (bathroom, check phone, etc.) and sit in another chair. She eventually went home and im'ed me and after a while, in the convo she asked me where are my friends. I don't think i've been spending that much time with her, i only hung out with her 3-4 days in the past 7. It's driving me nuts, she claims nothing is wrong and she acknowledges that i didn't anything bad this time (however, she did JUST start her period but i can't see how she would be so disrespectful because of that). It makes me want to drop the axe on the relationship or on her… -mlegacy

hmm… gotta break this one down piece by piece…

Skratch, I have a question and i'm kind of hoping for your assistance. I have a girlfriend and things work out great for the most part. However, every once in a while she gives me this 'attitude' (happens maybe once a month or something). I'll try to quickly describe the symptoms of this puzzling behavior.

It is definitely not uncommon for certain females to encounter differing amounts of hormonal levels during certain periods of the month resulting in varying degrees of mood swings and the such. Males often exhibit such characteristics, but it is a lesser known phenomenon that is beyond the scope of this post, but important to bring up less someone was to call me out on bashing the chemical make-up of the female gender.

It's a unique attitude in that, it's not anything extremely out of line. But she just doesn't make sense like yesterday she would say, "i'm hungry" and then i'd say "ok, lets get food" and she'l say "there are no good places open" so i provided that I would cook for her and she said "no." and then she would complain about being hungry again 5 min later and the whole process repeated itself.

Her decision making process is skewed by conflicting goals and thought concepts. On the one hand, she wishes to satisfy her need for nurishment, but there is nothing which interests her appetite. When you offered to cook for her, she did not want you to go into the trouble (because she's a great gf) but alas, at the cost of your sanity. My advice in this situation is to leave the current environment despite her indecisiveness; take control of the situation. A change of scenery may allow her to focus on her hunger rather than dwell on her conflicting goals.

while this going on before and after, she would have these evasive blank stares to everywhere but at me. She would look around my apt as if she had never been there before. I asked her if she was bored and she casually replied, "yeah", so i said lets go do something and she would shut me down by saying she was tired. Conversations become bland and short because of her simple responses, etc. When i get close to her, after a few min, she would get up or make an excuse to get up (bathroom, check phone, etc.) and sit in another chair. She eventually went home and im'ed me and after a while, in the convo she asked me where are my friends. I don't think i've been spending that much time with her, i only hung out with her 3-4 days in the past 7.

Again, you're trying to make sense of logic that is unknown to you. Her value system cannot be explained at this particular moment, so concede to your inability to properly analyze the situation and give her some space to sort things out.

It's driving me nuts, she claims nothing is wrong and she acknowledges that i didn't anything bad this time (however, she did JUST start her period but i can't see how she would be so disrespectful because of that). It makes me want to drop the axe on the relationship or on her…

You'd be surprised at the transformation some people make depending on certain hormonal imbalances. Understanding that she feels a certain way causing her to act in a certain way means you need to be extra-patient and extra-attentive, characteristics that guys are not accustom to. Try to observe the tell-tale signs which foreshadow a shift in her mood and negotiate the situation into a positive one rather than react to the situatoin itself. I hate to say it, but there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but if you can learn to compromise and adapt to her you can turn these infrequent mood swings into an opportunity for both parties to learn and grow with one another.

LDR + webcam + lotion =

So I really like this girl that I know through her best friend and I think she also likes me but she goes to Davis and only see her every once in a while. I don't know if I should just forget it because long distance relationships faili most of the time anyway or should I go for it? -mcduckson

LDR's are highly unsuccessful, so keep in touch but dont be bummed if she starts seeing other people. The worse thing that can happen is allow yourself to be tied down by a relationship thats on the otherside of California when you could be busy enjoying the "best four years of your life." Then again, love conquers all so if you feel she is the one, go for it. But dont say I didnt warn you…

The answer is B

I keep attracting the same types of girls either of the gangster or princessy variety and any other type of girl ain’t interested. I’m not a playa but alot of my friends roll like that and got that look and attitude to them, if you know what I mean. That kind of stuff is like catnip, but for only certain types of girls:

a) the princess, pure high maintenance

b) looking for sex only

c) bad-boy addicts .

Now I’m trying to look for the long-term or at least just a nice girl who has her shit together, but one look at me and they think they got me figured out and write me off. Any advice? -powered_park

If the problem is your look, change your look. Hate to break it to you, but girls are just as shallow when it comes to guys… a quick go over and you are already placed into a heirarchy of a very long list of potential suitors. Nice girls do like bad boys, but the mature females we seek as lifelong partners have developed a complex filtering system that is daunting, but by no means unbeatable. The trick is to present yourself in a way that attracts a female of a similar social group… you like those preppy, well dressed types head over to Banana Republic and start dressing in khaki. Like them smart and sweet? Get a haircut and spend some time at the library. Also, evaluate your hangout spots and ask yourself, “would any decent girl hang out here as well?”

Its tough to answer this question generically, so if there is a particular girl you are interested in, lay out what you know about her and we can access the game plan. Your appearance is the first thing girls see so I would stress adjusting your wardrobe to meet the demands of said female, and then charm her into submission ; )

Casual marriages

How prevalent is casual dating? I suddenly hear people hooking up after some party or suddenly in a relationship. Is casual dating just so low-key that it doesn't pop up on my radar? -icom158

Hm… casual dating is an aspect of life and will always be. The chance of a successful relationship through casual dating is low, but maybe we should take a poll in the main forum? Like I've said in previous posts, there are alternate ways to form relationships without the need to date around.

How to: Stalk

how can i help my friend who's being stalked? she tells me that this guy she was dating before started stalking her after she broke up with him. he stands outside her window and bothers her when she takes the trash outside. is there any advice you can give to her? -colonel klink

Whoa, this is a serious issue and really needs to be brought up to the police. A restraining order will ensure that he restricts his stalking at a distance of 100 feet and greater. Other than that, having a large individual kick his ass and threaten more physical punishment upon further stalkerish activities could be an effective medium as well.