Skratch, I have a question and i'm kind of hoping for your assistance. I have a girlfriend and things work out great for the most part. However, every once in a while she gives me this 'attitude' (happens maybe once a month or something). I'll try to quickly describe the symptoms of this puzzling behavior. It's a unique attitude in that, it's not anything extremely out of line. But she just doesn't make sense like yesterday she would say, "i'm hungry" and then i'd say "ok, lets get food" and she'l say "there are no good places open" so i provided that I would cook for her and she said "no." and then she would complain about being hungry again 5 min later and the whole process repeated itself. while this going on before and after, she would have these evasive blank stares to everywhere but at me. She would look around my apt as if she had never been there before. I asked her if she was bored and she casually replied, "yeah", so i said lets go do something and she would shut me down by saying she was tired. Conversations become bland and short because of her simple responses, etc. When i get close to her, after a few min, she would get up or make an excuse to get up (bathroom, check phone, etc.) and sit in another chair. She eventually went home and im'ed me and after a while, in the convo she asked me where are my friends. I don't think i've been spending that much time with her, i only hung out with her 3-4 days in the past 7. It's driving me nuts, she claims nothing is wrong and she acknowledges that i didn't anything bad this time (however, she did JUST start her period but i can't see how she would be so disrespectful because of that). It makes me want to drop the axe on the relationship or on her… -mlegacy
hmm… gotta break this one down piece by piece…
Skratch, I have a question and i'm kind of hoping for your assistance. I have a girlfriend and things work out great for the most part. However, every once in a while she gives me this 'attitude' (happens maybe once a month or something). I'll try to quickly describe the symptoms of this puzzling behavior.
It is definitely not uncommon for certain females to encounter differing amounts of hormonal levels during certain periods of the month resulting in varying degrees of mood swings and the such. Males often exhibit such characteristics, but it is a lesser known phenomenon that is beyond the scope of this post, but important to bring up less someone was to call me out on bashing the chemical make-up of the female gender.
It's a unique attitude in that, it's not anything extremely out of line. But she just doesn't make sense like yesterday she would say, "i'm hungry" and then i'd say "ok, lets get food" and she'l say "there are no good places open" so i provided that I would cook for her and she said "no." and then she would complain about being hungry again 5 min later and the whole process repeated itself.
Her decision making process is skewed by conflicting goals and thought concepts. On the one hand, she wishes to satisfy her need for nurishment, but there is nothing which interests her appetite. When you offered to cook for her, she did not want you to go into the trouble (because she's a great gf) but alas, at the cost of your sanity. My advice in this situation is to leave the current environment despite her indecisiveness; take control of the situation. A change of scenery may allow her to focus on her hunger rather than dwell on her conflicting goals.
while this going on before and after, she would have these evasive blank stares to everywhere but at me. She would look around my apt as if she had never been there before. I asked her if she was bored and she casually replied, "yeah", so i said lets go do something and she would shut me down by saying she was tired. Conversations become bland and short because of her simple responses, etc. When i get close to her, after a few min, she would get up or make an excuse to get up (bathroom, check phone, etc.) and sit in another chair. She eventually went home and im'ed me and after a while, in the convo she asked me where are my friends. I don't think i've been spending that much time with her, i only hung out with her 3-4 days in the past 7.
Again, you're trying to make sense of logic that is unknown to you. Her value system cannot be explained at this particular moment, so concede to your inability to properly analyze the situation and give her some space to sort things out.
It's driving me nuts, she claims nothing is wrong and she acknowledges that i didn't anything bad this time (however, she did JUST start her period but i can't see how she would be so disrespectful because of that). It makes me want to drop the axe on the relationship or on her…
You'd be surprised at the transformation some people make depending on certain hormonal imbalances. Understanding that she feels a certain way causing her to act in a certain way means you need to be extra-patient and extra-attentive, characteristics that guys are not accustom to. Try to observe the tell-tale signs which foreshadow a shift in her mood and negotiate the situation into a positive one rather than react to the situatoin itself. I hate to say it, but there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but if you can learn to compromise and adapt to her you can turn these infrequent mood swings into an opportunity for both parties to learn and grow with one another.
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