Typical two-timers

so is it typical for guys to date multiple girls at one time (and not give the other girls that he’s seeing/hanging out with the heads up?) -simpogirl

Hm, typical is a strange word. I would think its not as commonplace as one would be led to believe, but it still occurs. So typically, I would say that no, given the fact that the majority of guys do not possess the necessary skills in order to attract one, let alone two females in an overlapping fashion, it would be far too difficult to generalize and say guys are dating multiple girls and not telling them about each other. However, lets assume the corner case scenario and pool 100 guys together with abilities to attact other females at will. Would they “typically” not tell the other girls about his other girlfriends? Unequivocally, the answer is obviously yes. The key to a girl’s heart is to make her feel special. As if she’s the one and only person that can unlock the emotion stronghold of a man’s heart. Once she stops feeling special, she’ll leave you at a moment’s notice (i know what you’re thinking, he’s cheated and she still stuck around. thats another answer to another question) and wont look back. Accomplishing this “special” feeling is much more difficult if she knows you are giving the “special” treatment to other girls. She’d be correct to assume she wasnt, in fact, special but just run-of-the-mill average. By not informing her of the other “special” girls in your life, you provide her with the fantasy that she is in fact important in your life and not another hookup whereby the man gets his cake and eats it too.

So what you should have asked was that, given the opportunity, would a guy typically want to be with 2 or more girls at the same time if it involved a little moral flexibility in regards to his disappearing act on friday/saturday night? Well, now ya know. And knowing is half the battle.

as much as any other girl

it really depends on the person. i’m really monogamous, i won’t even check out other girls when i’m dating somebody. as a matter of the fact the last girl i dated forced me to check out girls with her from time to time -koh the emoboy

no pics, no care.

The Skank Test

Today in my Human Sexuality class we spoke about "Labels in Relationships" (ie boyfriend, girlfriend, 'we're officially dating')

Majority of the girls responded in class that it is a WANT and that it's IMPORTANT.

In a situation where it's not about the the guy still wanting the ability to have sex with other people, why wouldn't he use the label? -2xtrouble

Ah, now we're discussing the inner workings of the male/female psyche. While there are are countless books theorizing over the obviously differences (both physically and psychologically) in the male and female brainwork, I'll break down the cliffnotes version.
All of this stems from the basic premise that females are nurturers and males are the providers. Its carnal nature at its best, and can be argued as such, but it is hard to ignore this generalization. Being the nurturer requires an innate ability to create an environment which has the appearance of safety and security for herself and her household. With that being said, the provider faces adversity with each passing moment away from the house (though nowadays, it seems to be the opposite) and therefore needs to have a spirit which replaces safety for risk/reward type scenarios in order to ensure survival of his family. So you're asking yourself, yeah, but how does this apply to dating today? While there are certainly exceptions, placing monikers on an individual does more than create a new petname; it creates a scenario which either party may or may not agree upon. There is a certain amount of security in knowing that the person in which you're engaging in relations with defines the relationship in exactly the same manner that you do. Nothing is clearer than in calling that dude holding hands with you as your boyfriend, and vice versa. But at what point does a relationship go from someone you're seeing, to someone you're dating, to someone who is your boy/girlfriend?

So lets tie this all together. Labels correlate to a level of commitment that many girls seek in a relationship, whereas guys might not have those same goals when he first pursued you (well duh, he heard you were easy from a friend and wouldnt have to spend as much time as he has tryin to get some). Commitment is synonmous with safety/comfort/chocolate and as such is understandably more realized with the general female population. Males, on the other hand, see commitment as the work of the devil. Do not fear, however, as I have a handy guide to help you during the DTR talk (Defining The Relationship):

Number of times you seen one another per week:
1-2: 1 point
3-5: 2 points
< 6: 3 points

Have you guys, you know, done stuff which involved an orifice
No: 0 points
Yes: 1-3 points, depending on the orifice (I'm sure you can figure this one out)

Has he spent money on you:
No: 0 points
Yes: 3 points
Yes, but only after scoring 1-3 points on the above question: -3 points

Have you met his parents
No: 0 points
Maybe: -3 points
Yes: 3 points

You've met his friends:
No: -6 points
Yes: 3 points

If you scored:
11 > you're probably boy/girlfriend. Or he's gay. Either way, you're in good shape

7 – 11 hm. Dicey waters here, as you scored less than 12

7 < Well at least you're not pregnant

0 < wow, you are a skank. check for stds.

So there you have it, a bonafide error free way to know whether or not he's ready for commitment and you're basically getting screwed (literally and figuratively). Labels can be helpful, but they end in -hore or -itch, then its probably not that helpful afterall.

Removing his manhold

Okay for girls make the first move? -2xtrouble

This is 2006 people. As such, I would assume that the male gender is at a point where all things which brought inequality (and therefore, a sense of superiority) have been taken away (voting, pga golf), so why not a woman’s right to holler (for the uninitiated, hollering is the african-american version of “to holla” which implies attempts to skeet-skeet on a female as a post-dinner activity)? There is a problem, however:

1) you’ve taken away the male’s ability to chase
2) all expectations for the male to take a lead role in the relationship

While many a girl wishes to be swept off her feet, the growing influence of technology has taken away the attention from real-life females; more specifically, a guy would rather play on his Xbox 360 then to get the Heisman from a would-be mate on a friday night. To take matters into one’s own hand is totally not unacceptable, but take to heart the two stipulations said above. The first problem is that you are more likely to lose the interest of the male at a much more rapid pace. I liken this to winning a prize: at first, you’re really happy for winning, but your value for said prize depreciates in value because no real effort was spent in attaining the reward. However, making a guy work for the payout can backfire i.e. he might think you wont ever come around and will thus give up (but you dont want to date a quitter anyway).

The second problem is that since you took the initiative, it is almost (with a few exceptions) assumed that from now on, you wear the pants. Wishing he would take you out for V-day? If you chose wisely, he’ll do so. Sadly, though, this might not be the case and you’ll be stuck coming up with a scam to make him watch “Something New” on the 14th (which, by the way, is coming up). So here’s the plan: drop him hints. What kinda hints? Oh i dont know… accidently fall into his arms and give him that puppy dog look which you’ve been practicing in the mirror. Ask him to take you to a movie as friends. That always works. Tell him the character traits you’re looking for in a guy, but always (and i mean ALWAYS) add in a random wildcard characteristic like “needs to know 30 languages” so that he questions if you’re describing him or are just insane. If anything, you’ll at least find out if he’s interested in you and if not, you can go find another suitor.

Good luck and remember to brush your teeth. Guns dont kill people, bad breath does.

Quit being such a baby

can you change a love one’s behavior? -colonel klink

The short answer is no. You can only change yourself. This is a deep, psychological question that presents more problems than it solves. I recommend that you make sure you find out as much about the person before engaging in a serious emotional relationship with the person as there is no potion or hypnosis you can perform to make the other into something he/she is not. You, however, can change i.e. if you can’t stand that he/she doesnt like to shower, stop smelling him/her.

This reminds of something that was said a wedding.

Man marries woman hoping she will never change.
Woman marries man hoping he will change. -icom158

thanks warren. sheesh.