Today in my Human Sexuality class we spoke about "Labels in Relationships" (ie boyfriend, girlfriend, 'we're officially dating')
Majority of the girls responded in class that it is a WANT and that it's IMPORTANT.
In a situation where it's not about the the guy still wanting the ability to have sex with other people, why wouldn't he use the label? -2xtrouble
Ah, now we're discussing the inner workings of the male/female psyche. While there are are countless books theorizing over the obviously differences (both physically and psychologically) in the male and female brainwork, I'll break down the cliffnotes version.
All of this stems from the basic premise that females are nurturers and males are the providers. Its carnal nature at its best, and can be argued as such, but it is hard to ignore this generalization. Being the nurturer requires an innate ability to create an environment which has the appearance of safety and security for herself and her household. With that being said, the provider faces adversity with each passing moment away from the house (though nowadays, it seems to be the opposite) and therefore needs to have a spirit which replaces safety for risk/reward type scenarios in order to ensure survival of his family. So you're asking yourself, yeah, but how does this apply to dating today? While there are certainly exceptions, placing monikers on an individual does more than create a new petname; it creates a scenario which either party may or may not agree upon. There is a certain amount of security in knowing that the person in which you're engaging in relations with defines the relationship in exactly the same manner that you do. Nothing is clearer than in calling that dude holding hands with you as your boyfriend, and vice versa. But at what point does a relationship go from someone you're seeing, to someone you're dating, to someone who is your boy/girlfriend?
So lets tie this all together. Labels correlate to a level of commitment that many girls seek in a relationship, whereas guys might not have those same goals when he first pursued you (well duh, he heard you were easy from a friend and wouldnt have to spend as much time as he has tryin to get some). Commitment is synonmous with safety/comfort/chocolate and as such is understandably more realized with the general female population. Males, on the other hand, see commitment as the work of the devil. Do not fear, however, as I have a handy guide to help you during the DTR talk (Defining The Relationship):
Number of times you seen one another per week:
1-2: 1 point
3-5: 2 points
< 6: 3 points
Have you guys, you know, done stuff which involved an orifice
No: 0 points
Yes: 1-3 points, depending on the orifice (I'm sure you can figure this one out)
Has he spent money on you:
No: 0 points
Yes: 3 points
Yes, but only after scoring 1-3 points on the above question: -3 points
Have you met his parents
No: 0 points
Maybe: -3 points
Yes: 3 points
You've met his friends:
No: -6 points
Yes: 3 points
If you scored:
11 > you're probably boy/girlfriend. Or he's gay. Either way, you're in good shape
7 – 11 hm. Dicey waters here, as you scored less than 12
7 < Well at least you're not pregnant
0 < wow, you are a skank. check for stds.
So there you have it, a bonafide error free way to know whether or not he's ready for commitment and you're basically getting screwed (literally and figuratively). Labels can be helpful, but they end in -hore or -itch, then its probably not that helpful afterall.
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