After over two decades of extensive research and interviews with men and women worldwide, here are the top five myths men believe about women.
1) Women are primarily looking for a man with great physical features.
Actually, this myth should have been title “Women are primarily looking for a man with [fill in the blank].” Most males assume that women seek to isolate one particular characteristic about their ideal man because that’s exactly how men view their ideal mate: ideal in a single category while ignoring the rest (translation: men are looking for women with a pretty face/big breasts/long legs). Females, however, think with the big picture in mind. In a perfect world, females desire a man with an athletic body, charming personality, and are great with children (regardless of her desire to conceive). Is there any question why there are more single 30+ females than males? It is because they are still waiting for the “perfect catch.” Men are much more willing to settle for an individual with the correct reproductive organs.
2) Women are kinder/gentler than men
Though it is true that women do not possess the physical prowess that men are naturally gifted with, it would be a mistake to interpret this lack of physicality as a general meekness in females. Ever notice that females have a laundry list of other females they just cannot get along with? What women lack in muscles they make up for in trash talk. The gossip magazines they read at the supermarket are the written manifestations of their inner animosity towards one another. Why should anyone care about Britney’s multiple social disorders made public through People Magazine? It provides ammunition for the machine gun of smack talk women need to make it through the day. She cries during the same scene of The Notebook and will not hesitate to tell her friends about his man’s erectile dysfunction. They’re cold blooded like that.
3) Women are not as competitive as men
While men are preoccupied with determining which men dominate games of skill and/or intelligence, women are busily fine tuning their strategies of manipulation to win the game of life. It is not a coincidence that women insist on being the victor during arguments with their companion. If she wants to eat at the fancy new Italian restaurant and not at the dive bar showing game five of the big game, it is a safe bet that hot wings will not be on the menu. It should also come as no surprise that she takes 200% longer to get ready to go out than the male equivalent; she’s applying the war paint and wardrobe necessary to defeat the throngs of competitors that threaten to take away her role as starlet. Use this competitive drive as a tool to push her in a particular direction. Understanding her need to respond to challenges can be crucial when it comes time for her to make logical decisions (i.e. take one more shot to prove this guy wrong or go home early for work the next morning?).
4) When it comes to presents, it’s the thought that matters
Are men so diluted into thinking that she will appreciate a collage of pictures taken during special occasions over the tennis bracelet she’s been eyeing at Tiffany’s for the past year? It is an easy mistake to make, but the look on her face when she opens the non-aqua blue box containing a cheap frame from Aaron Brother’s will tell the whole story. What she really means is that the amount of money a man spends on her is directly proportional to the amount of love he has. And he better make sure it is exactly what she wanted. Women love surprises that involve things that they’ve been pining for. They do not, however, love picture frames.
5) Women do not care about the size of the sea, but the motion of the ocean
She wants both. If it was up to her, she’d rather be stuck like a suckling pig than hit with a Oscar Meyer wiener. Better stock up on more Enzyte.
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