I just skimmed this post and immediately felt like I had to punch some females. Yes, the media portrays Asian males as if they were Hiro from Heroes (terrible accent, glasses, asexual), but this is also the same media that defines beauty as a busty blond weighing 100 lbs. So what now? I hope you’re not on Facebook, Ashely Song Kim, because you’re in some e-trouble.
By Ashley Kim Song
As an Asian girl growing up in the United States, I believe I was taught by the society to be attracted to just about everyone besides other Asian men. This marginalization of Asian men has occurred, in my view, for several reasons.
First, the media never portrays Asian men in a dominant role. They are always portrayed as nerdy, geeky, brainiacs, with no sense of themselves and no ability to attract women. In other words, the media portrays Asian men as incapable and undesirable.
Second, American society has many negative stereotypes towards Asian men. It has become a complete joke to think that an Asian man could ever “satisfy” a woman. Their “manlihood” is the constant subject of jokes and insults. For this reason, most women view Asian men as asexual and feminine.
For these reasons, Asian women, and women in general in American society are taught to view Asian men as undesirable and feeble. As you will see, this is the reason why Asian women are now up for grabs…
Asian women in our society, because of their conditioning, on the whole do not prefer to date Asian men. In one of the discussion classes I taught last year at Berkeley, half of the Asian girls in the room, stated that they do not prefer to date Asian men. Also, roughly every other girl in the class also agreed that they prefer not to date Asian men. So, if Asian women are on a trend of not dating Asian men, who are they dating?
Girls the class I taught generally gave me two answers to this question. The most obvious one being White men, as people around Berkeley and other cultural areas can most recognizably notice. The second most common answer from the girls was Indian men (South Asians). When I asked the girls why the preferred these two ethnic groups of men, their responses centered around two areas: economic status and physical attractiveness.
In terms of economic status, the Asian girls said that both white men and Indian men in our society (especially here at Berkeley), were viewed as successfull, intelligent, and confident. These are all qualities that the Asian community values.
Next, the girls said that they found these two groups of men to physically attractive. When I asked why, the responses I recieved were varied. My conjecture in this case would be that both groups tend to share the same sharp features (Greco-Roman noses/eyes) that the media tends to value.
So what is the end result of all this? Asian women are “up for grabs” and this has essentially devasted Asian men. Asian men are getting the axe on two levels here. First, they are only seen as being able to date their own kind (other Asian girls). At the same time, their own kind, at an increasing rate, tends not to prefer them sexually.
In conclusion, I have come to no conclusion. This is merely an observation of mine as a student and teacher here at Berkeley. However, I personally view this information as interesting and helpful. And, I, as an Asian-American woman, bring it in to my consideration when viewing Asian men.
Ashley Kim Song is fourth-year Political Science major at UC Berkeley.
Some Berkeley asian girls share this opinion, but I wouldn’t say all do. I don’t think this is a phenomenon that’s unique to Berkeley either.
i went to cal. i noticed the opposite of this.
haha. oh mike.
What complete and utter garbage.
Like it or not, this is absolutely true (not only Berkeley). I’ve been on the West, South, and Northeast coast, and many Asian girls will say that they just prefer white guys.
When asked why, they hesitate for a while, and then say its because Asian guys are too shy or some other excuse they made up on the spot. Sometimes I call them out when they rejected the advances of another Asian male that they conveniently forgot.
Of course, from my observations there are about 20-30% Asian females that will consider Asian males. Usually these are the ones that are either mediocre partners (pardon my bluntness) or they like an Asian male that every girl drools over.
The circle of Asian friends that my family associates (who are all foreign born) have also noticed this trend. They blame it on the status that non-asians hold in the US, and the reasoning that their Asian fathers were abusive and therefore Asian males are abusive.
Oh, social conditioning! Oh, the media! Oh, somebody besides myself must be to blame!
People are attracted to what they’re attracted to. Accept it and move on. To suggest that Asian women need to “stay with their own kind” is just as racist as maintaining that they couldn’t possibly be attracted to those asexual Asian men with their terrible glasses and laughable accents. Stop giving people grief over what turns them on; if you feel so strongly about affirmative action in dating, then go sleep with someone you find repulsive. Then you can sleep at night knowing that you struck a blow against the Man.
It goes to show you that college is overrated.
Very usefull infomation. Thank you.
Keep it up
what a traitorous ho. w/e i could care less for race traitors.
I’m an Asian female.
Am I really a rarity out there? I always assumed that other Asian-American girls like myself preferred Asian boys. I know I do. I grew up in an area where there are not as many fellow Asians, so I’ve never really heard the opinions of other Asian girls.
Maybe it’s because I listen to a lot of Japanese/ Chinese rock; where they boys are portrayed as more attractive, and desirable in Asian-secluded media.
I don’t like buff, “strong”-looking white guys; they have never appealed as much to me. I’ve always been scared that it’s the opposite of what was written; that Chinese-American boys would prefer blondes over their “own kind”.
Very well written. Anyone who denies society plays a role in shaping our perceptions towards different people hasn’t taken a course in sociology. I feel badly for Asian males and surprised they haven’t protested their depiction in the media. During my time at Berkeley, however, I couldn’t ignore the fact that Asian-American males tended towards the anti-social. I don’t know if this is the cause or effect of their being shunned.