How to get the girl – get her hammered

If she boots on your sneakers, even better.

How to get the girl – Looks for show, personality, or dough

Preferably, two out of three. Be strikingly handsome, have a great personality, and/or a lot of money. Having a little of three probably will not help in your favor as the majority of dudes fall in this category. I’ve seen fat ugly ducks land girls five steps above their lay-grade because he pulled up in a Ferrari and make the girls laugh. Having two out of three is usually good enough since most women are as superficial as most men and can put up with the beer belly as long as he can make it rain at the club. If you can only have one, however, make sure it’s in the dough department. A great personality without the rest means friend status. And nobody wants to be just friends.

You are rejected by 100% of the girls/guys you don’t talk to

Probably not the most original thing I’ve come up with, but hey, sometimes it needs to be stated.

New series: How to get the girl – Don’t be late

In lieu of creating a new blog whereby I’ll forget to update and/or run out of content in a week, I’ll be presenting original content in the form of (hopefully) a series of labeled posts with creatively named titles.

In every budding relationship, there is a dance that every suitor needs to know in order to successfully navigate the treacherous waters of female approval to eventually “get in her drawers.” To aid in these efforts, “How to get the girl” explores fundamental actionable items key to winning over any female. The converse to this series could be “How to f*ck up your chances with the girl” or “How to lose a girl in 10 days” (currently in production).

Don’t be late. Being punctual indicates that you value her time and a premeditated commitment to plan your day around her. Chances are she spent a better part of her day thinking about how to impress you with her outfit selection and choice of cosmetic products so the least you can do is show up on time with a clean shirt on. Arriving late allows her time to consider the possible reasons you were unable to be timely (in order of most likely scenario):

a) playing WoW with roommates and lost track of time while trying to level up your character
b) forgot about the date altogether and had to be reminded by Google Calendar
c) ran into an ex-girlfriend and took her out instead
d) is a drug dealer
e) had to be taken to hospital after trying out moves seen on WWE

Bottom line: show up early and wait for her.

edit: Apparently I wrote about this topic before. Nice!